It’s hard to believe that Raj and Howard are the reason why Sheldon and Amy (“Shamy”) started dating in the first place. Who would have thought that an online dating site would have matched two of the greatest minds in Big Bang Theory universe’s generation? Although Sheldon denied Amy Farrah Fowler was his girlfriend for a long time (she was just a girl who was a friend…), that all changed when she went on a date with Stuart. After becoming official boyfriend and girlfriend in “The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition,” it was time for the next level: the relationship contract.
The contract was around 30 pages long and had to be signed by both parties. It stated everything that was deemed acceptable and unacceptable by both people and what the consequences would be if broken. And while we don’t have all 30 pages, we do have 10 of the best points from Shamy’s relationship contract.
ARTICLE II: DRESS CODE & BEHAVIOR REQUIREMENTS
If you take a look at Amy and Sheldon, you would realize that they’re very conservative. Sheldon typically has two laters on (a long-sleeve shirt under his short-sleeve shirt) and Amy usually has at least three laters (an undershirt, a shirt, and a vest).
But this isn’t a surprise; it’s in the relationship contract that they need “cover all of the body and leave only the hands, head, and neck showing.” If Sheldon or Amy breaks their clothing rule (which is decided by Sheldon and Sheldon only), they’re not allowed to watch Star Wars or Star Trek and cannot play Xbox. Following the way they dress, Article II also claims the couple must smell like “nothing.”
ARTICLE III: SOCIAL GATHERINGS, GATHERINGS, PARTIES
Considering Amy and Sheldon are very comfortable at home and in the office, it’s surprising they do as many social gatherings as they do. They have group dinners every week, they eat as a group at lunch during the workday, and they run errands (like going to the comic book store) together instead of going separately.
However, according to their relationship agreement, when they do attend gatherings they must monitor each other’s behavior “among their lessers and attempt to speak in their primitive languages” (aka Penny).
ARTICLE IV: INJURIES AND MALADIES OR BOOBOOS AND OUCHIES
Everyone knows that when Sheldon is sick or injured he acts like the world has stopped. His dear friend Leonard must stay behind from work and nurse him back to health. And once Amy comes into his life, she takes over for Leonard. Amy quickly learns that being an emergency contact for Sheldon isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.
According to the contract under Article IV, both people must care for one another when they’re sick. “If one has a significant injury, the other must accompany to the hospital. No matter how much they are a germaphobe.” Something tells us that’s more directed towards Sheldon…
ARTICLE V: HAND HOLDING IS ICKY
Physical contact isn’t one of Sheldon’s strong suits. Funnily enough, when we met Amy in the very beginning, she was the same way. It wasn’t until she became close friends with Penny and Bernadette that she began warming up to the idea of being more open.
She began wanting that closeness with Sheldon, but thanks to Article V, Sheldon views hand-holding as “disgusting, unsanitary, and [is the] spread of dangerous pathogens.” The only time hand-holding is acceptable in the contract’s eyes is if “either party is in danger of falling off a cliff, precipice, or ledge.”
ARTICLE VI: DATE NIGHT
Date nights are important to every relationship, including Sheldon and Amy’s. Without their relationship contract, we doubt Sheldon would put any effort into date night at all! However, he is legally bound to woo Amy every month with a night out on the town.
Article VI states Shamy must “participate in ‘Date Night’ every second Thursday of the month, or in a month with five Thursdays, on the third Thursday of that given month.”
ARTICLE VII: ANNIVERSARIES
Amy and Sheldon have a couple of anniversaries but we’re pretty sure the only one they celebrate is when they first began dating. Thanks to the contract, Amy doesn’t need to beg Sheldon to take her out to celebrate, nor would he forget because it’s legally bound (and let’s be real, Sheldon Cooper doesn’t forget many things).
The relationship contract states that Sheldon “must take Amy out to a nice restaurant and have casual physical contact that disinterested onlookers would liken to intimacy.” A slight touch on the hand is enough to get Amy’s engine humming!
ARTICLE VIII: ON THE PRINCIPLES OF DATING
If there’s one thing that gets Sheldon profoundly excited, it’s writing up contractual agreements. It’s actually surprising he never went on to become a lawyer. Nevertheless, in Article VIII, he continues with the principles of dating.
In normal terms, it’s Sheldon’s way of explaining cheating is not allowed. Due to human beings and primates liking monogamous relationships, according to research, Sheldon and Amy shall say committed to one another in the name of science and to later publish a paper on it.
ARTICLE XI: APOCALYPTIC HAPPENINGS, INCLUDING ZOMBIES AND DOGS
The gang on The Big Bang Theory has talked about the potential apocalypse a few times and while everyone must fend for themselves, Shamy is contractually obligated to live by their contract’s rules. “Both parties shall make provisions to ensure each other’s survival in those situations,” Article XI says.
If the apocalypse does occur, there is a survival bag they must grab which contains many things, including a $100 bill, freeze-dried food items, Sheldon Lee Cooper’s book of rules, and more. Oh, and one more thing. They have to steal Penny’s shotgun from her apartment.
ACTION IX: LOSS OR CHANGE OF JOB FOR EITHER PARTY
In “The Table Polarization,” we see Sheldon attempt to break up with Amy because he realizes she’s a distraction to his first love: science. He doesn’t successfully break up with her but it was a sneak-peek into Sheldon’s dilemma with work and if he should continue to focus on string theory.
Sheldon does switch his area of study but if anything did happen to his line of work, Amy would be obligated to take care of him financially until he found other work. If Sheldon or Amy refuses to take care of the other person, Sheldon has the right to terminate the contract and thus, the relationship.
THERE’S AN EXCEPTION TO PLASTIC SURGERY
In the final season, we see Amy going through a slight makeover. She’s a bright woman and she was ready for a more mature and sophisticated look. But no matter how stunning Amy looked, Sheldon fears change and would prefer Amy how he met her.
Following in line with how one should look, their contract states that neither party should undergo cosmetic surgery. There is a hole in this statement though, the only time someone is allowed to get surgery is if it’s to look like a Klingon.
