For 12 seasons, The Big Bang Theory taught viewers a lot about friendship and science. Unlike other shows on TV, fans of the show could actually walk away saying they learned something from our favorite friend group consisting of Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, Howard, Amy, Bernadette, and Penny (er, sometimes Penny!).
Along the way, in between String Theory and Dark Matter, we fell in love with the couples on the show — particularly Penny and Leonard. These two were a long time coming. They started their relationship off going from neighbors to friends to lovers and back again. These two have been through a lot but their love for one another outweighed all the negatives and naysayers. However, was their relationship all sarcastic giggles and rainbows? It appears our favorite couple had some toxicity in their relationship among all the good things they shared. Let’s take a look five times they were perfect and five times they were anything but.
TOXIC: THEY BROKE UP MULTIPLE TIMES
The running joke in Penny and Leonard’s relationship is how often they broke up and how often they propose to one another. And while The Big Bang Theory does an amazing job at making this topic hilarious, it’s actually quite sad.
These two never seem to be on the same page. Sure, they ended up being happily married by the series’ finale, but what about all the small moments from Season 1 through 12? These two started off as friends but their biggest problem is communication and honesty, forcing them to break up out of sheer panic.
PERFECT: THEY BOTH MADE EACH OTHER GROW
During Raj’s murder mystery dinner party, Stuart mentioned that Leonard and Penny were the best couple he knew. He noted how Leonard made Penny think more deeply about the world and Penny gave Leonard the security he was always looking for.
Raj is not wrong. Penny always dated men who were gorgeous on the outside but lacked intelligence. Dating Leonard made her realize there’s more to the world than beauty and that she was worthy of someone as smart as him. Likewise, dating a woman like Penny gave Leonard the confidence he never had and the realization that life isn’t always about work accomplishments. He is worthy and valued in all aspects — not just in the scientific world.
TOXIC: THEY’RE INCREDIBLY DIFFERENT WITH NOTHING IN COMMON
While there’s nothing toxic about being different people, it’s their differences that drive a wedge in their relationship. Penny is a farm-raised girl who longed of becoming a star and loves football and beer. Leonard, on the other hand, is a sensitive man who grew up with a grueling mother and spent most of his days working on experiments with little confidence.
As friends, these two uplifted each other. But as a couple, their differences made both of them insecure in themselves and in their relationship. Leonard tried to be the manly man Penny always dated, while Penny was insecure about her lack of education and felt judged by Leonard and his family. Both of their insecurities in this relationship are enough to become toxic in their own minds.
PERFECT: THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS FOUNDED ON FRIENDSHIP
People always say the best relationships are founded on friendship and that’s exactly how Leonard and Penny came to be. Granted, Leonard always had a crush on Penny and loved her from afar — even when he was in different relationships, but it’s their friendship that made them get as far as they did. Being friends for years made them more comfortable with each other. To be frank, one could even say that their friendship was sort of a practice round for their romantic relationship. They’ve been through so much as friends, what could possibly go wrong as partners?
TOXIC: PENNY ALWAYS COMPARED LEONARD TO HER EXES
It’s not just Penny who compared Leonard to her exes, it’s everyone in their friend group, too. Raj called Leonard “wheezy” in comparison to Zack, and Sheldon was never shy bringing up all the model-like men he’s seen leaving Penny’s apartment in the morning.
Even after Leonard and Penny got married, their relationship was the giant elephant in the room. Penny was once invited to a Comic-Con-like convention where she sat and signed autographs for Serial Ape-ist 2: Monkey See, Monkey Kill, where fans questioned how a guy like Leonard bagged a girl like Penny. There are times when Leonard brags about it but there also times where he’s deeply offended by it.
PERFECT: PENNY’S THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN HANDLE LEONARD’S RELATIONSHIP WITH SHELDON
Leonard didn’t have many relationships, but the women he did bring home never quite got along with Sheldon. To be fair, these women didn’t need to get along with Sheldon but if they did, it made Leonard’s life a whole lot easier. Remember when Leonard dated Priya? The two were constantly going head-to-head, making Sheldon’s life miserable, which then makes Leonard’s life miserable. Thankfully, Sheldon trusts Penny and considers her a friend. For Leonard, having his girlfriend also be friends with his roommate makes everyone’s lives easier.
TOXIC: LEONARD WAS UNFAITHFUL
Fans were split when they found out Leonard cheated on Penny. Some weren’t surprised due to Leonard’s lack of confidence in himself and his relationship but others were furious. For so many years, Leonard bombarded Penny about being friends with her exes or when she hung out with attractive men. But out of all the times Penny hung out with these men, never once was she unfaithful or lied to Leonard.
Sadly, Leonard broke a deep sense of trust with Penny when he admitted to making out with a girl while away at sea. To make matters worse, he told her this when they were on their way to the chapel to get married. Was his admission out of honesty and respect or was he sabotaging the relationship?
PERFECT: THEY DEFY THE ODDS
Through it all — despite some theories on their relationship — these two made it work. They truly defied all the odds. Their relationship made it clear that “hot girls” can indeed date intelligent men and that they, in turn, can land women who may seem out of their league. The stereotype had been broken. Whatever it is that these two saw in each other was enough to make them marry and later get pregnant. Love truly prevailed.
TOXIC: DID THEY SETTLE FOR EACH OTHER OUT OF COMFORTABILITY?
The joke about Penny settling for Leonard is funny at the moment, but if they really took a second to think about how many times people have said this, it can be quite troubling. How can the topic of settling not be questioned when strangers and friends alike bring it up time and time again? What if they really did settle?
Maybe Penny was tired of the dating game and knew a life with Leonard would bring her security and long-lasting friendship. On the flip side, maybe Leonard knew he would never find a woman as beautiful as Penny and settling for her — despite their differences— would give him a trophy wife for life. Perhaps they were simply comfortable in each other’s presence and that was enough.
PERFECT: PENNY WON OVER LEONARD’S MOTHER
It’s been made clear since Season 1 that Leonard’s mother is hard to handle. She wasn’t the best mom to Leonard, and he knew she would never approve of Penny as a daughter-in-law. But after a few shots of booze and raw honesty on Penny’s part, these two got along famously (even though Leonard’s mom isn’t as big a hugger as Penny would like). The fact that Beverly liked Penny at all was a godsend. And on the other hand, Penny’s dad was thrilled that Penny was dating someone with a brain. It’s not always easy to marry into a perfect family, but these Leonard and Penny made it work.
